AITA for calling the police on my boyfriend after finding weird pictures of my 2.5 year old daughter on his phone?
I (34F) have a 2.5-year-old daughter. Her dad was never supportive and left us early on. It’s just been me and her. I started going to church, trying to rebuild my life, and that’s where I met my current boyfriend. He’s a recovering addict, working through his own stuff, but he was kind with kids. He has his own, though his ex has custody.
We got close fast, and three months ago, he moved in with me. I thought things were going well. But in the last two weeks, he started coming home late, being distant. I started thinking maybe he was cheating. So, I checked his phone. I know its wrong but I didn't want to be betrayed again. I opened Snapchat and he had pictures of my daughter on it, without any clothing or diaper.
My hands started shaking. I couldn’t even think straight. I called 911 immediately and told them he is coming home. I never told him I've called police and never confronted him. I wanted him to come from work and have the police speak to him. He told them it was because she had a rash, and her pediatrician had asked for pictures. He is right about that. When I was at work he was consulting with a doctor on Rocket doctor. We are in canada and it's a virtual place where you can talk to a doctor. Our closest ER has wait times of upto 10-12 hours and if it's not imminent, they make people wait. He had messaged me that day saying that she has these rashes coming up on her body. And he suggested the rocket doctor thing. I told him that's good and to keep me posted about what the doctor says.
He told the police that I am crazy for thinking these things and that he had just taken those pics to send to the doctor. But her rash was on her stomach. And yes, he sent the doctor pictures of that. But there were also other pictures. Why would he take other pictures of my daughter without her clothes, aside from the rash ones of her stomach.
I asked him if it was just for the doctor, why wasn’t she at least covered up? Why did he keep them? He said I was overreacting, that he wanted to make sure he sent the full body pictures so doctor can see properly. I told him to go on the rocket doctor website and show me what he sent the doctor. He had only sent the doctor a pic of her stomach area. That was taken at 1:12 pm on his iphone. All other ones were taken at 1:25 pm. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something has happened to her.
The police questioned him, looked at the photos, and in the end, they let him go. They told me I freaked out. That there was no evidence of anything beyond what he said. He’s furious at me now, saying I ruined his life, that I never trusted him. He's saying that he only took the other pics incase doctor asked for her full body pictures. I don't know what to believe anymore.
I’m second-guessing everything. What if I was wrong and if I jumped to conclusions? Or what if I wasn’t? What if I ignored this and something worse happened later. I feel like this is such a grey area. On one hand I feel like I blew it out of proportion and should have talked to him. The rocket doctor thing happened like 2 weeks ago.
I have no friends or family and I am feeling lost. AITAH for not even giving him a chance to explain and calling 911 directly?
Update - alot of people are asking how I checked his phone if he was at work and accusing me of lying. I caught him by checking his phone. Recorded everything on his screen using my phone. Never confronted him. Let him leave for work with his phone. Then contacted police in the evening. Also people are assuming I only knew him for 3 months. I've know him for a year and he moved in 3 months ago. I replied to the very first comments I received when I first posted. But just clearing this here as well.