what sex is like for a sex indifferent aromantic asexual
Hi friends!!! I (20F) lately have been doing some more ~exploration~ since I have always been an incredibly curious human and like to learn about different experiences. I wanted to share some things in case it would be helpful to anyone on this subreddit that is questioning or wanting some clarity.
*If you are not interested in reading that, that's totally okay! I can wait for you to click away. love you very much and you are valid. okay byeeeee*
(garlic bread anthem begins to play softly in the background. fades out.)
Okay hi I'm back. I think as a high libido ace I have always felt a little confused about my asexual identity, or sometimes even less valid. I'm aromantic and very romance repulsed and so my sexual/romantic boundaries feel different between identities. I have had a few negative experiences but also wanted to have some positive ones so the past couple months That Is What I Have Been Doing! I've had maybe three or four different ventures during this time HAHAHA I feel so weird talking about this. My brain feels so analytical about shit like this and so it's funny because I know that isn't how most people feel (allegedly. (sometimes I still wonder if being allosexual or alloromantic is made up. (I'm kind of joking but mostly not.))) I'm about to share some scientific conclusions. Prepare yourself accordingly.
Anyway, it's been pretty cool because these experiences, while positive and good learning experiences, have really confirmed my asexual identity for me. Some of my observations:
- it's so much more work with another person lmao, not efficient at all
- I have had to add a disclaimer to the people to let them know that I do not feel bonded or more connected after sex, just so they have clear expectations and don't get hurt feelings
- humans are so funny and silly and weird, what are people doing hahahaha?
- It honestly feels like I'm doing a random activity. Like if I hadn't been told all growing up in religion that SEX WAS BAD AND NOT! FOR! BEFORE! MARRIAGE! I would have never known that it was something people make such a big deal about.
- the amount of nonchalance I feel makes me laugh bc I just feel super disconnected from the activity but I can tell the other person is having a good time. why is this such a badass feeling?? being aspec is cool that's all I'm sayin
With an all-encompassing perspective, sex kinda feels meh to be honest! Not bad at all but I think I don't need to experiment much more to know what it's like if you know what I mean. I've always had a super super high libido and I just think it's more comfortable to take care of it on my own. Yeahh.
I am at a point where I am wanting to try out a queerplatonic relationship, whatever that might look like for me. I feel a lot of intellectual attraction and emotional attraction to people & that feels enough for me at the moment. I could see myself having sex with my partner, it just would probably feel very different for me than them (depending on if they are asexual or not.) If they didn't want to have sex ever, that would not be a problem for me at all. I could also imagine that my aromanticism also plays a part in some of these dynamics so keep that in mind!
Okay that's all!! Let me know if you have any questions. I just used to be super curious about all of this from an asexual person's perspective and would have loved to read something like this to understand other asexual experiences better. These are just mine, and it's different for everyone. If anyone else has things they would like to share or related to I'd love to read that too!! <3 Ya'll are valid!! Love you bye!
xoxo,
sixfootsauropod