What’s something you’ve learned in your 30s that you wish you knew in your 20s?

If I could sit down with my 22-year-old self, I’d tell them to stop wasting time on people who don’t value them. It took me until my 30s to truly understand that not everyone deserves access to me.

Back then, I was always the one reaching out, planning things, and making sure friendships stayed alive. I thought that’s just what you did you put in effort, and people reciprocated. But the reality? Some people only keep you around because you make their life easier, not because they genuinely care.

There was this one friend I had since college. We were inseparable until I started going through a rough patch. Suddenly, my texts took days to get a response, my calls went unanswered, and I realized I was the only one keeping our friendship alive. Still, I made excuses for her: “She’s just busy,” “She’ll come around.” Spoiler: she didn’t.

It wasn’t until I hit 30 that I finally let go of the idea that I had to keep people in my life just because of history. Friendships should be mutual, not an obligation. The moment I stopped chasing one-sided relationships, my world got so much lighter.

Now, at 32, my circle is smaller, but it’s made up of people who genuinely care. And honestly? I wouldn’t trade that peace for anything.