I had a breakdown and hit myself while eating

I was hungry from shopping all day and came home to make a sandwich when my mom asked in a judgemental way if I’m really gonna “eat the whole thing” as if saying I don’t need it so I tried to calm myself down and not let it get to me but when I went to take a bite I literally squished the sandwich and smeared it all over my face and started to hit myself with it and my hands and I scratched my whole face to where it was bleeding I got so upset and now I’m just super embarrassed because I know it’s ridiculous and super child like but I literally could not control myself. The amount of rage that built up in that short span of time makes me so embarrassed and ashamed and I just want to die like who the fuck does that