I destroyed a perfect vision because not removing my delusions early

I used to have a perfect vision. I could easily read European car plates from whole 90 meters. I had learned to train my eyes in personalized eye training regiment I had discovered on my own via practicing and trying to retrain my eyes from myopia I had developed during a year or so living solely indoors.

Up till 6 months ago. 6 monts ago I had a stupid untreated delusion of grandeur that I'm the God and that the Sun is nothing to me and that I'll one day again unlock myself as the God. I ended up staring straigt at the Sun for 10 minutes around noon. I completely ruined my central vision. Cells in my fovea are dead now and so are cells in layer behind my fovea dead. All because my stupidness.

I'm now visually impaired for life. I absolutely loathe my current situation and wish so bad I would taken inventory and prevented the prolonged staring at the Sun which ruined my vision.

I can kinda work on phone with my side vision but work on laptop is very frustrating dur to my lack of vision. Going outside is very frustrating, I used to have a perfect exceptional vision but now see really poorly.