That weird “alien” feeling

As early as 5-6 years old I remember carrying such a distinctly ‘off’ feeling with me. Like there was something different and off-putting about me compared to my classmates. I felt like the way I talked was different from them, the way I wrote stuff, the way I walked, my entire being was ‘wrong’. I felt like I was a different type of human compared to everybody else. I had social anxiety in school as well (to the point I became mute whenever I was in public) which lead to kids thinking that I was even more different for being completely silent around them. My own grandfather described me as “standoffish”. Even now in my 20’s I still carry that feeling with me. Feeling absolutely stunted compared to others in my age group, that I’m not the same type of ”human” as them.