AITA for wanting to permanently end my relationship with my sister? (LONG STORY)

Hey everyone, although this is a AITA post I would like advice as well and this will be kinda long because of details being explained . Also IN LOVE WITH THIS PODCAST!!!! Y’all piss me off when I don’t see a new episode everyday😂 but anyways onto the story.

I 23(F) have a Big sister 36(F). Our relationship as Sisters has always been pretty flip flop. I don’t know if it matters but we have same Dad different Moms.

So before I was born my sister always wanted to be with my dad as a Daddy’s girl would be, but her mom was not having it. My dad was definitely a deadbeat. People believe a deadbeat is just a person who is not there at all, or not around. But in my eyes, you could be sitting in your child’s face and not do anything for them and still be a deadbeat and that’s what my dad was. My sister‘s mother wanted better for her and wanted her to not live with our father Due to just knowing what kind of man he was. Which definitely her mom saved her in my eyes. My father was very physically emotionally and verbally abusive to my mother. I can’t remember a time my mom wasn’t sick because of what he would do to her. She’ll lose jobs because of him coming up there acting a fool, wouldn’t let my mom go out, cheated on her list goes on and on. My mother ended up leaving my father at around the time. I was five years old, leaving us homeless living out of her car in motels for about a year.

As I started to get older, I started to notice that my sister felt like she didn’t get the opportunity to have a father in her life and somewhat resented me for that. Giving you guys context on that long story short she feels like I had our father more than she did Which is only true in the sense of I just got to live with him. There was no taken care of me. There was no paying me any mind for real. We ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in McDonald’s for I don’t know how long because he cared about alcohol and drugs more. So her thinking I had it good is crazy work to me. She went to all the best schools had all the best things, had her own room, was able to be an activities due to having the money and having that privilege and I damn sure didn’t have that privilege. I’ll level with her because I understand as a female. We do need our fathers in our life, but girl I don’t know why you wanted to go through abuse homelessness and crazy shit just to have your father in your life.

Our relationship as sisters was fine when I was a kid elementary middle school age. We hung out. She was a good big sister until eighth grade is when the first big situation happened. Honestly, it’s been a while since I was in 8th grade so all I remember is her and I getting into an argument. Again, I don’t remember what the argument was about but what I do know is I’ve always been a person to blow up on people, say things I don’t mean, I was definitely a fighter in eighth grade. So instead of blowing up on my sister like she’s a stranger I usually chose to shut down explain I don’t wanna talk anymore and remove myself from the situation. But for her, this wasn’t good enough. She wanted to talk right now, handle it right now and get to the bottom of whatever the issue was at that moment I explain to her multiple times. I don’t wanna talk right now. I don’t wanna talk right now stop touching me. Stop putting your hands on me. Let me leave. After a while, I can only take so much and I ended up socking her and we fought and I left the room after afterwards. I understand that this is not good and I’m not proud of it and I’ve long since tried to take this situation and apply to other situations to not have it happen again. We ended up falling out for years until I became a junior in HS. We started to salvage our relationship, get past things, grow closer and become “Sisters” again.

Alright now let’s get to the issue I’m willing to say fuck all this over. On November 10th my father, sister, her husband and I went to church and breakfast for my grandmas birthday. We were having a conversation and my sister was trying to say something but her husband and I was talking over here and not being quiet. My sister ended up getting bothered by the situation and stepped outside. I felt bad because I wasn’t even tryna be rude on purpose sometimes I just be running my mouth. When she came back to the table I can feel the tension and can feel her mood switch. I didn’t want her to feel like she wasn’t being heard so I can what’s the problem and wanted to have a conversation. Her being 36 and me being an adult as well along with us having a pretty good relationship now felt like we can have an uncomfortable conversation without it getting out of hand. Smh I damn sure was wrong! It’s too much to really say everything that was said or will be on Reddit forever. But as I’m trying to explain to her that I want her to let me know what is wrong and what I did so that I can basically fix it because the situation was so small. We shouldn’t even really be having a back-and-forth conversation about it. She began to say “why am I so bothered by it?” “Why am I being so aggressive about it?” “ why am I talking to her aggressively?” And let me tell y’all something. If you know me you know the difference between me being aggressive and me being passionate and even then I just have a naturally aggressive voice, and she has a naturally soft voice. So this kind of ticked me off because she should know me better than the stuff she was saying. Also, I’ve worked really hard on calming down and not being so snappy at everything because I was always the sister who was “the fighter” or “About that life” so this bothered me. I continue to try to explain to her. This is how I talk and you know it and I’m not being aggressive. I’m just trying to get to the root of the problem because I could tell what I did affected you.

The conversation starts to blow up and do too much my sister then says, “So what you tryna do about it”. I don’t know where everybody else is from but I’m from Los Angeles and one thing about it, You say something like that that’s fighting words no matter who or what you are. I immediately shut down and stop talking because I know how I can get and I don’t wanna put my hands on my sister. My father ends up, taking my sister outside to have a conversation, while I speak to her husband in the inside of the restaurant. He goes on to tell me that 1 she’s on her period and 2 she still has a lot of trauma from past situations, and the fact that she feels like she didn’t have her father like I have our father so little things set her off. Sooner or later her and my dad returned to the table. I say nothing because I’m over the whole situation and want to keep it where it’s at so that it doesn’t go any further. But I swear no good deed goes fucking unpunished.

So much was happening that day. I don’t remember exactly what slick shit she said at the table when her and my father returned, but I swear to God when I tell you my body instantly got hot like it was 120° in the restaurant. I tried to excuse myself to go to the restroom to calm down and again she starts antagonizing me on how I’m “running from the problem”. I’ll tell her to stop talking to me because where I’m going has nothing to do with her and I instantly get pulled outside by my father to have a conversation. When I tell you, we didn’t even get a full sentence out before she comes outside and tries to grab me to talk to me. As I explained earlier, I am not good with things like that if me and you are getting into it you’re the last person I want to talk to and the last person I want to touch me. I kept explaining to this girl to stop touching me stop talking to me and I don’t wanna have a conversation right now when I tell you guys, I repeated that about 5,786 times I am not exaggerating. She proceeded to push on me, get in my face, talk shit, say weird shit and just overall do a lot. And all I’m saying to her is to get out of my face. This is the same shit that happened in Seattle, and that I’m trying to avoid the situation and you just keep on running your mouth.

Here’s why I have an issue with her and where I feel like I don’t need to fuck with her anymore. I’m a firm believer that angry and drunk people say what they mean and they tell the truth. I got called all types of names, got told I’m gonna be the same angry bitch that I’ve always been, that I am no longer her sister anymore, I won’t be anything so on and so forth. I could’ve went low with the things that I could’ve said to her I could’ve hurt her feelings like nobody else could, but I chose not to the only thing that I kept saying to her is to get the fuck out of my face, stop touching me, fuck you, I called her a bitch once, I called her weird maybe 12,000 times. But never did I ever go as low as she did because why you’re not a stranger and you’re not somebody that I just met on the street you’re my sister. So the fact that she let all of that slip out of her mouth upset or not you’ve been holding that in and you mean it. The tongue is a powerful thing and I don’t think people realize that. For context, I am not a family person at all. I am a firm believer that blood and DNA does not make you family. I’ve been wrong betrayed and put in messed up situations from both sides of my family. So losing someone in my family as far as a relationship or communication does not matter to me.

At the end of the day, I feel like it’s a whole lot to be said and then again nothing to be said at all. My father is really hurt by this and really wants us to rekindle what I feel like is broken. He feels like if something happens to one of us we will regret not having a relationship. Don’t get me wrong if my sister and I don’t have a relationship and something happens to her. I’m not saying I would not give a fuck. But what I am saying is I could love you from a distance and I don’t need to fuck with you. I feel like I learned something from that situation back when I was in eighth grade and God put us through a test and literally gave us the same situation that had us fallout the first time,different scenario, and you failed and on top of that, you said things out of spite and to hurt me on purpose. We’re definitely from two different generations and I wasn’t raised with her. I’m not dismissing whatever has or has not happened to her but we both know damn well I had it worse than she did. That still also does not give her the excuse for anything. We’re too grown for that.

Im willing to answer any questions and/or give more details about certain things. But I just wanna know am I wrong or should I stand on business?