Mid life guitar crisis; how do you handle you identity? Advice from the seasoned older crowd needed

So I’m sure this hits a ton of people; because a ton of people don’t make long careers out of music… so coming here for advice

Some back story: For about ten years I made decent money doing gigs, tours, studio sessions. I lived very comfortably. Music was my living.

Met a girl and settled down… which killed touring. Went back to school… became an accountant. Started a family. Had no time for bands or session work…. But still practiced every night insanely.

Now fast forward years and years later… I’m an accountant and advisor. Have no presence on the local music scene; except a few bands on tour that still remember me that call me for guitar repair work or tone advice. And I hate my fucking career and hate waking up to dot it lol

My wife is going through a career change and while discussing such i stressed a job doesn’t define you. And she was insistent it does. I’ve been thinking long and hard on this for two weeks… and looking at my socials, who I talk to and what I talk about, clearly guitar defines me but I’m an accountant.

I’m hitting midlife pretty hard, I’m yearning to be playing out again, be in the studio, and just be immersed in music again; but financially speaking I know I can’t just quit my career in accounting.

How did you reconcile yourselves as a musician stuck in a corporate persons body? Did you ever become happy with your career? I know music is very ageism… so I feel like I’m aging out. I’m def a better player now than I ever was due to insane nightly practice but I’m getting older and older every day.

Did you try to slowly integrate yourself back into the music scene? With kids and shit I don’t think I have time to form a band; but would love to self record an ep at home. Maybe start doing local shows. Do you see this as futile?

Basically I’m trying to decide if I need to buckle down and just accept my fate in a career I hate; or try to make a pivot where I do something in the music scene again for mental health. Ha