Alright, how do I stop caring so much about relationships?

Hello everyone. Stumbled upon this sub and figured it’d be a decent place to ask this question.

First things first I don’t really consider myself an incel. I don’t hate women or blame other people for my problems. I’m just a loser, that’s all :)

So here’s the thing: I recently read a Reddit post talking about a certain type of guy. The kind of guy who’s obsessed with the concept of a relationship, so he’ll settle for any woman he mildly likes just as long as she fills that role for him. They also described these guys as being extra clingy because they don’t have too much going on in their personal lives. I had the horrifying realization that this accurately described my one and only dating experience. I liked her, but I was more into the idea of a girlfriend than I was into her. This really shook me up.

To be entirely fair to myself, I was raised in a cult and kept out of school. I never had friends or always first relationships, all this stuff is new to me. But that’s no excuse, I have to change.

I’ve decided to devote myself to self improvement. I’m gonna focus on school, start running to lose weight, find less nerdy, more normal hobbies, finally learn to drive, and try to make more money so I can be self sufficient.

Here’s where my question comes in: I’m a hopeless romantic, I’m constantly thinking about relationships and girls and all that stuff. I need to cut that out while I’m on my mission, because until I perfect myself it’s never gonna happen. All it’s doing is creating unnecessary longing. So how do I stop caring about this stuff for now, or at least make the feelings less intense?

Thanks in advance!