At a crossroads

My (29m) wife (26f) don’t have a perfect marriage, far from it. I feel like we were doing so well at accepting each other’s differences and looking past the hard times. However, it’s very clear now that we both have longstanding resentment toward each other that has bottled up. I’m a recovering alcoholic that’s depressed and traumatized, she has contamination OCD that she feels she needs to enforce on all of us. This morning our 2 year old son touched our trash can and she flipped out on me but I can only control so much. In the car I told her she really needs to get help, either there needs to be changes or I’m going to need help accepting the situation forever. I love her deep down but I also feel like I was pressured into having our son and she used him against me, to which I said I knew all of this would happen. Some might say it would be easier to just leave but I do worry about legacy since both of our parents are divorced. Thank you all for taking the time to read.

Edit: adding that she’s taking it really hard, we’re at a department store right now and she asked me to go off on my own. Is it a lost cause?