Want to live my life

So it is a throwaway account.

I am F35, married for 10 years now. I came from a very reputable family in my town. I lost my mom in 2004 and I have only one younger sister. She is 5 years younger than me.

We both were very good in our studies and I got a good central government job when I was just 22 years old. I was going through a bad breakup and emotionally very fragile, then I met my current husband in a family set-up and got married.

The first 2 years were good, we stayed in different cities due to work commitments. After 2 years he got transferred to my city and that year I got a miscarriage due to his negligence. I slipped into depression and since 2016 I have been on medication.

My husband is not a bad person he took care of everything but since 2016, we stayed in the same room but there is no physical intimacy. We are living like two roommates. I wanted to end this marriage several times but I kept my foot back because of my sister. She is like a child to me and I don't want to put pressure on her while she is studying. I sacrifice my life for her. I took all her responsibilities like a mother.

I neither have any physical relationship with my husband nor have I seen someone else in these 8 years.

Now my sister got a job and she got married last year in October. Now I am thinking of parting my ways from my husband as I have no responsibility left. So I took a transfer to a new city and went to apply for divorce very soon. Although my family does not agree with me.

I make up my mind and want to live for myself now.

I just want to vent.

Wish me luck😊