Need to vent. PLEASE no harsh or unkind responses

I am an inquirer and having a lot of trouble at the moment seeing myself becoming Orthodox.

First of all, I'll be truthful because you need to know. This sub hasn't been much help at all. And the lack of support is one of the things that makes me question this path. I see many times, the most supportive answers to other inquirers but when I post, almost all of the time, I receive unhelpful & dismissive answers. Someone answered "Meow" to a question I had the other day. Can you believe it? I have taken down post after post because it was literally painful to see my questions "answered" with more disrespect than respect. Is it because I can be identified as a woman that I am treated like a slow child around here. I just don't understand the difference in treatment. Are my questions just that stupid?

And why do I continue to post? Loneliness. I don't have anywhere else to go. I live far from the nearest Orthodox church and I am struggling even now to make connections there. The priest seems like a good man but also seems overwhelmed. The congregation is one of those that we often hear about here. Not very welcoming at all. And yet I keep going because I have to see this through.

Not having much guidance, I am doing my best to learn what I can. I have started attending inquirers class but its not easy for me to attend consistently esp when I am still not sure if this is the path for me. Rock meet hard place.

So I tune into Ancient Faith radio today and listen to a Bible study, where the main message seemed to be that you can do all that is asked of you by God and still end up in hell. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop ie the role of faith & mercy plays in where you end up and had to eventually turn off the program in frustration and despair. Seriously? Do the Orthodox really believe that God, who is supposed to be merciful & loving and who understands our frailty, would send someone who trusted in him & loved him to hell for not meeting some standard to be good enough to get into heaven??

It was explained in the program that this is a good thing in that it keeps us from being complacent but surely there are other ways to avoid that very real danger other than to say that God could pull the rug out from under you in the afterlife. What is worse is that this teacher said there is no way to change your state in the afterlife not even through the prayers of others for your sake. It just seems so hopeless.

That's all. Vent over. Please know that any comments that are not given in a truly helpful and thoughful spirit will cause me to leave this sub and not come back. I really really need some help here. I can take a hard truth that is given in the spirit of charity but so help me God if you have a dismissive answer then keep it to yourself just this bloody once. Thank you.