how the mightea have fallen

satire, tldr at bottom

to whom it may concern,

dear sir/madam,

it was on the stiflingly balmy evening of the 13th of February 2024 of the year of our lord, around 8pm UTC+8 when i alighted from the Mass Rapid Transport (MRT) at simei (EW3) station, and decided that it would not stand; my dehydrated self not having a drink to ease this blighted weather.

indeed, it was no sooner had I thought this that my delightful girlfriend Ms Lee (names edited for privacy) alerted me to the presence of one of your own Gong Cha outlets that I thought, at the time, was heavensent in the circumstances I then found myself.

I proceeded to order, the digital kiosk making it handy as always to reduce human interaction and allow me to ponder as long as I'd like on the options of my soon-to-be beverage. After perusing the seasonal options, none of which tickled my fancy, I selected one of my go tos for times of thirst - the sacred Lemon Juice with White Pearls and Aiyu Jelly.

I noted with surprise that the drink had become valued by your financiers at a whopping five (5) singapore dollars, SGD. That is beginning to become quite a hefty sum for lemon juice with pearls in it. In addition to that, upon my payment your kiosk grumbled and, I'm sure, would have shook its fist at me if it had one to do so. No receipt was proffered, nor was one forthcoming, as your cashier told me before I could even open my mouth. She did so without looking up from or ceasing her stabbing of the POS machine to record a sizeable grab order.

Though slightly annoyed at the snubbing from both human and machine (united for once), I was prepared to forgive and forget because my drink was prepared in record time. So suspiciously quick, in fact, that I should have noticed something was amiss as soon as I heard it was ready for collection. However, in the moment, I admit my judgement was impaired due to my thirst and craving of the normally delicious lemon juice. My mouth had already begun to water and tingle in anticipation of the icy acidity it offered (I order 0% sugar and would order extra sour if possible).

It was in the midst of transit back to my better half's building of residence that I grasped the honking red sucking tool firmly and thrust it through the cup seal with gusto for that satisfying pop. I brought it to my mouth. Placing my lips upon the cusp, I took a sip with practiced familiarity, as if I were breathing.

Liquid betrayal flooded my mouth. What I had been so eagerly expecting was nowhere to be found, and in its place a shameless impostor, only but a shadow of what it was meant to be, a disappointing false oasis in the midst of this godforsaken humidity.

The crisp acerbity of lemon, the encouraging contrast between sour and sweet, the interplay of two flavours crossing the palette, none of it was there. What I was drinking turned out to be sugary iced water, resplendent in its saddening single-dimensionality and accompanied halfheartedly by the standard white pearls and aiyu jelly.

It took an inhuman amount of self control not to spit it out, as my girlfriend had noticed my haggard, confused and affronted countenance and questioned my state. I am unsure what god of mental fortitude possessed me to allow the imbibing of that first mouthful, but in any other circumstance the drink in my mouth would have most assuredly ended up all over her face and clothes and her general vicinity when she turned me towards her.

Do note that while I eventually grudgingly drank all of it, since I had already paid for it, I did not do so happily or with any of the relief that I had been wanting in my purchase of your product.

Your malfeasant and flippant workers have resulted in my heavyhearted loss of confidence in your franchise and overall standards. I did not wish to write this letter, but it is frankly shocking that one can order lemon juice from gong cha and have the staff forget to put the lemon juice in. I am exceedingly disconsolate that yet another once-reliable chain of bubble tea stores has fallen to the ravages of time and complacency. I hope this missive may serve as some sort or part of an alarm to you.

Yours sincerely, Just a sad thirsty boi

tl;dr, I ordered lemon juice from gong cha and they forgot the lemon juice. smh my head the amount of affordable and reliable bbt for students all disappearing v_v