I think I have both schizoid and avoidant traits

I'm not diagnosed with anything, but I have had problems with some form of social avoidance for my whole life. This might sound contradictory, but I think I have characteristics associated with both schizoid and avoidant personality disorders.

When I'm alone, I have a fairly strong desire for human connection which I almost entirely avoid due to fear. This seemingly points away from SzPD, but this fear is very non-specific. I don't have any rationalised negative beliefs like viewing myself as inferior to others which would be very characteristic of AvPD.

When I'm actually around people and have an opportunity to connect, I have no motivation to push through. Even in moments where my anxiety is at a manageable level, there's still something that prevents me from having that motivation. The idea of someone genuinely knowing me as a person feels almost alien. I only feel true to myself when alone, so I reflexively distance myself from others, both physically and emotionally.

I'm thinking I might have developed these behaviours as a preventative measure for situations that make me uncomfortable. But the threshold for what my mind believes to be anxiety-inducing is so low that I permanently avoid socialising.

This leaves me in a weird and conflicted position where I long for social connections and know that I would be much happier with them, but at the same time have no motivation to attain them and am fundamentally uncomfortable with any degree of closeness.