I am drinking alcohol and taking xanax as writing my goodbye letter

I am one big mistake in this life nd I should’ve never be there is a huge issue of being autistic on this earth. No one will accept you even your friends and family it would just be a question of time until they actually figure out what being disabled means but their brains will never conceive that idea unless you are non verbal or having “”visible” autism as they said I know my friend don’t think i actually hit my head on the wall and bite my arms and hands pull out my hair and punch me in the face after any inconvenient shit and acting like a child a stubborn one it’s part of my mental illness and they just point fingers at my deepest pain i’m gonna finish my letter Reddit thank you for everything I would’ve felt alone my whole life if it wasn’t for this app and all my people my suffering marginalized and dismissed people who are the strongest on this earth kisses muah