How fcked up my life is ...

So I'm like 100% anti - social kind of guy . My daily routine is like I wake up , either go to library or stay in my dorm room studying. And in the evening, I go on a walk with my only friend wearing a black cap and a black mask like so no one in my locality have ever seen my real face. Also about that friend, i don't even know if I'm as special to him as he is for me... I want to socialize but how ? Like road par chalte chalte kisi se thode hi baat karunga. I don't even go to an offline coaching or smthng . It seems like my existence is limited to my family and my friend that's all...