Ugly cried after a long while, need support

Its my bday nd im utterly alone. So i thought to do things that make me happy. I hated my glasses, it kept sliding on my nose and im practically blind without glasses , so i thought ill buy myself contact lenses for this bday. I found cheapest option on lenskart nd bought a monthly. Today it came and i was so happy, but wen i tried it on, it slipped from my finger and fell down and it was transparent so i couldnt find it. I searched for hoursss. Now i have one contact lens in here lying useless and no bday gift. I still hate my glasses but hate the fact that i wasted my money. I feel so guilty.

My mom works (and lives there as part of her job) at an old age home and only makes 17k per month. Right before i lost my lenses i had asked mom to send 1k for booking a train ticket , she sent me 2k and told me to buy whatver i wanted for my bday.

All of it together it just hit me badly and i ugly cried for a long while. I was so scared someone would hear me in hostel.

Tomorrow i have exam and not able to study, i lost my contact lens and the other one is useless. I have no plans for my bday and im totally alone in hostel, no one to ask to go to cafe with, either.

My dad is not in picture, i feel like im a bad daughter. Disappointing in many ways. I feel so lonely. Last birthday i was just out of relationship and i felt horrible being alone. I thought this year i would be happier but nothing seems to change.

Im truly heartbroken i wish i had more frnds here, sometimes i just need ppl to talk to and cry to.

I dont feel like spending the money mom sent, on anything. Im feelinv worthless and i think that i have a lot of money to throw here and there, but i really dont.

I wish i was at home with mom and sisters rather than at hostel. I wish i had frnds to be attached to rather than things.