Im a single mom and I am ruining my child

I have child under 5 years old, she is amazing, kind, sensitive and very smart. She craves my attention, wants to play with me and wants to be near me. She is absolutile adorble and good child. But I am mess, I have autism and adhd and being totally single mom meaning the dad does not care at all, and am mostly alone with my kid i am going crazy and am disgusted with myself. I have these tantrums and meltdowns more than my kid you know. I raise my voice at her for stupid things, i let her play videogames all day cause i just cant handle this. The other day she said she is afraid that i get angry with her. She is sensitive... I can't do this, i dont want to play with her, please leave me alone, this is too much but i dont know what to do. There is no peace or my own time, first i work all day then i take care of the child and i just hate it, i want to be alone, but i really don't, what i really want is not to have to take care of everything on my own, this is too much and i cant stand to know how i ruin my child because of this. Everybody always says "there is help out there" but there is not