My chest feels so tight LOL for what!!!

Gosh so I haven't completely given up the wine. I tried!!! But I allowed myself to have some drinks last last Saturday during a football watch party after quitting (yet again) and of course ended up in adventure mode. Made my way to a bar. Went partying through the city. Didn't get home until 6am the next day. Didn't go to work. Takes like 3 days to feel new again. Didn't gym all week. That's my thing though and my brain keeps trying to reason with myself. Like no you're not an alcoholic!! You don't drink everyday. You don't drink to numb! You're not depressed. The alcohol isn't the problem. So cue the self loathing which pivots me to give it up (again) I'm going to friends tonight and of course everyone will be extremely intoxicated. Not only is it always pointed out to me that's it's a Mexican culture thing to drink lots and work hard, it's normal to be shit faced with your kids around. I am a momma. I have goals. And I just don't wanna do it anymore. It just doesn't work for ME. So I'm looking at mocktail tecipes on Pinterest and my chest is tightening up bc I'll feel left out, and won't be buzzing and laughing around with everyone. Its all mental thanks for letting me vent ♥️