INTJ boyfriend super rude during arguments

I’m an ENTJ with an INTJ and we’ve been together for 4 years, have had some great times and built a home together…. But when we argue… boy oh boy! I get pretty fired up and love the logical aspect of arguments but he throws all INTJ logic out the window and just goes for the attack. Any chance to berate me and put me down is what he does, borderline abusive verbally and I’ve confronted him about it many times. He says that when he sees red he can’t help but word vomit and in this case, he’s spoken to the effect of saying things like “not sure if you’re even the one for me, don’t know if I love you, you suck right now…” and our arguments truthfully are really petty (dishes in the sink that went in the dishwasher the wrong way) type of arguments, and before you also tell me - yes I’m aware that INTJs love their structure and salivate over order and discipline but can you let us be human too sometimes?

Any and all feedback is welcome! I’m obviously asking because I care enough to want to make this work and not just walk away… but I’m getting to the end of my rope. Ugh.