What are the struggles of being obese that a normal-weight person might not think about?
I started this journey at around 300lbs/21 stone-something. It’s hard to know exactly, because my scales literally wouldn’t measure that high. I’m now knocking on the door of onederland, and it got me thinking about all of the other things I’ll lose, apart from the weight. Here’s my list so far:
Doctors assuming any medical problem I have is due to my weight. I got diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, but by the time doctors took me seriously it was stage 4. I told them I’d had my symptoms before I was morbidly obese, but they didn’t care. They told me to lose some weight and come back again when I had. My cancer is incurable, and I can’t help but think this anti-fat medical bias is to blame.
Not fitting in a booth at restaurants! That feeling of looking around a restaurant to determine where you can fit is awful.
Pre-eating before going out to dinner. I did this for two reasons. The first is that I was worried I’d still be hungry afterwards, and my rumbling tummy would always give me away. Secondly, I felt judged for the choices I made which leads me onto my next point…
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. It feels like when you’re visibly obese, you cannot make a good food choice. It’s either “bet you’re enjoying those chips, aren’t you?” Or “you didn’t get that way eating salad”
Constantly checking whether the activity the group has booked has a weight restriction. Rollercoasters, climbing harnesses, sky diving, even one of those peddle boats you get in park lakes. Can I fit? Will I be the only person weighed? Will the mandatory life jacket fit me? So many times, I’ve sat out of group activities, saying I just didn’t feel like it, or it wasn’t my thing, when actually I just didn’t want to be called out for being too fat.
Seating on public transport. You know the feeling. You approach your reserved seat and see the light fade from the other person’s eyes as they realise they’re stuck next to someone who, despite best efforts, will likely spill into their personal space.
Not being able to wipe your arse properly. Need I say more?
Not being able to shop in real shops, because they don’t carry sizes that big. Online shopping became my only option, and it was terrible. Clothes rarely fit me properly, and nothing suited me because it was designed for a smaller person and then just sized up like rescaling a picture in Microsoft Word.
Always having to carry my addiction with me, wherever I go, whatever I do. Being obese has been like plastering an advert for my emotional eating on my back 24/7. It can’t be hidden. People don’t care that I gained the weight due to medical issues, they don’t care that I’m really really trying to lose it (and have been for some time). There’s no hiding this flaw.
Finally, and this one could really sum up all of the above: the workarounds of being obese. Having to test whether furniture will hold you before you carefully sit down. Not being able to squeeze through parked cars in a car park. Not being able to pass someone on a tight staircase. Hiding all your junk food at the bottom of your trolley when you shop. Not being able to just borrow a hoodie from a friend when it gets chilly. People who have never been incredibly overweight have probably never even turned their minds to these things, but for someone who is morbidly obese, it’s a daily challenge.
I know there’s a range of weights and weight losses on this sub. This isn’t intended to attack anyone who has less weight to lose. It’s all good! It’s all healthy! But if you have a large amount of weight to lose, it is different. Staring down a weight loss journey that is multiple years long is a real challenge, and I think it’s important to hold on to the other things we’ll lose and gain as a way to stay motivated.
So hit me, what are the struggles of being obese? What are you gaining by losing?