The Piscean Lore of Unrequited Love: A Guide

In honor of the first day of Pisces season, I present to you my guide on Unrequited Love!

I recently read The Twelve Faces of the Goddess by Danielle Blackwood, and a passage stuck out to me, “If her love is unrequited… Pisces steps into the archetypal cult of longing. And, while there may be no condition more excruciatingly torturous, for Pisces, the exquisite ache that accompanies her intense longing makes it all the more romantic. No matter the circumstance, she will convince herself that this magical Other is the one. The only one. No one on earth could be more beautiful, deep, artistic, or amazing… she’ll defend them and the situation to anyone who will listen, particularly herself. She’ll intentionally turn a blind eye to the fact that he hasn’t called her in weeks, is dating other people, or is cheating on his wife… She will not hear when someone tells her that she’s wearing rose-tinted glasses. He or she may somewhat resemble her inner ideal, but no human person can ever live up to the pedestal Pisces has fashioned for her beloved.”

This passage struck a chord for me. It made me realize that my own excruciating history with unrequited love isn’t unique to my personal journey, but rather unique to the Piscean experience (edit: of course other signs experience unrequited love, but in my experience, I've seen it most often with Pisces!). So I wanted to come up with a guide for anyone out there who might be going through this now or anyone who might want to understand what happened.

The Piscean Lore of Unrequited Love

Pisces is ruled by Neptune, the planet of dreams, illusions, and spirituality. This connection often makes Pisces natives idealistic about love, sometimes falling for someone who doesn’t reciprocate because they can see potential or imagine an emotional connection that doesn’t fully exist. In the lore of Pisces, Pisces is associated with divine longing—a yearning for a soulmate, for spiritual unity, or for something greater than themselves. They often find themselves in situations where love is idealized, elusive, or just out of reach.

Pisces is a sign that thrives on spiritual connection and often believes that love, especially unrequited love, has a divine purpose. In astrological lore, it’s often said that Pisces must learn to surrender to the natural flow of life, trusting that whatever is meant to be will unfold in its own time. The challenge is learning to let go of control and trust in the universe’s greater plan, which can be hard when love is unreturned.

Pisces is symbolized by two fish swimming in opposite directions, representing duality, inner conflict, and the need for balance. This duality can manifest in how a Pisces experiences unrequited love: one part of them may want to chase after the unattainable, while another part knows they must move on. The lore suggests that understanding and embracing this duality is key to healing.  In the lore of Pisces, unrequited love may be seen as a lesson from the divine, meant to guide them toward self-discovery and spiritual growth. Rather than seeing it as a defeat or loss, a Pisces might view unrequited love as a chance to connect more deeply with their higher self and embrace the love that exists within.

World-Wide Lore Around Unrequited Love

  • In Chinese and Japanese traditions, love is sometimes seen as "the red string of fate" (红线 / 赤い糸), which connects destined lovers. If love is unreturned, it may mean the string was never tied between them.
  • In Indian philosophy, unrequited love is sometimes linked to karma, with the idea that past-life actions influence present relationships.
  • Some European folk traditions believed that persistent unrequited love was a form of divine test or even a curse. In medieval times, people believed that being hopelessly in love without reciprocation could be caused by enchantment or the evil eye.
  • In parts of Eastern Europe, love potions and folk magic were used to try to "turn" unrequited love into mutual affection.
  • In Sufi and Persian traditions, particularly in the works of poets like Rumi and Hafiz, unrequited love is seen as a path to enlightenment. The idea is that longing for an unattainable beloved mirrors the soul’s longing for the divine.
  • In many indigenous cultures, heartbreak from unreturned love is believed to teach resilience and wisdom. Some traditions hold that a person who has loved deeply, even without reciprocation, becomes spiritually stronger.
  • In Filipino and Southeast Asian folklore, persistent unrequited love is sometimes thought to attract restless spirits or supernatural entities, especially if the person in love dwells on their pain.
  • Some African and Caribbean traditions suggest that extreme longing can weaken a person’s "life force" (chi, prana, or spiritual energy), making them vulnerable to bad luck or misfortune.
  • In Slavic folklore, crying over an unrequited love during a full moon was believed to seal one's fate of eternal loneliness.
  • In Celtic traditions, walking through a river or the sea while thinking of the lost love was believed to "wash away" sorrow and open the heart to new love.

The Archetypes of Longing in Mythology and Media

Pisces is tied to themes of sacrifice and transcendence, which align with mythological figures who embody the eternal yearning for something unattainable. Consider:

  • Orpheus and Eurydice – Orpheus’ love is lost, and instead of fully moving on, he descends into the underworld, attempting to retrieve what is lost. This mirrors the Piscean instinct to chase love beyond the limits of reality.
  • Narcissus and Echo – Echo, a nymph cursed to only repeat the words of others, falls deeply in love with Narcissus, a beautiful but vain young man. However, Narcissus scorns her love, leading Echo to waste away until only her voice remains. Meanwhile, Narcissus falls in love with his own reflection and meets a tragic end.
  • Cassie Howard from Euphoria - Her infatuation with Nate is intense, consuming, and often seems to define her emotional state. Her feelings for Nate are not only unreciprocated, but Nate also manipulates and uses her, deepening her emotional attachment. Cassie's longing and emotional vulnerability illustrate how deeply Pisces can invest in unattainable love. She gets lost in the fantasy of Nate’s affection, ignoring the reality that he does not genuinely care for her, reflecting how Pisces can idealize people and love beyond what is healthy or real. She is willing to sacrifice her own dignity and self-worth in pursuit of something that will never truly fulfill her.
  • Lucy Albright from Tell Me Lies - represents a typical Piscean arc of emotional idealization and sacrifice. She becomes infatuated with Stephen and lets herself get pulled into a relationship where she constantly seeks his validation, but he doesn't reciprocate the same level of emotional investment. This imbalance and her subsequent heartbreak align well with the Piscean experience of falling for someone who may not return their feelings in the way they hope. Her emotional journey—including her periods of confusion, self-doubt, and longing—is a powerful reflection of how unrequited love can feel all-consuming and hard to escape.
  • The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - This movie is centered on the idea of erasing painful memories to escape the heartache, but it also shows how integral both the good and the bad moments are to shaping who we are. This film highlights the struggle between letting go of painful experiences while still learning from them. It reflects that inner conflict you’re feeling about not wanting to keep these memories while also understanding they’re part of who you are.
  • Joe Goldberg from YOU - His rationalizations and justifications for his actions echo some of the ways we can justify unhealthy behavior when we're desperate for love or validation. His character shows the potential darkness that can emerge from untreated emotional wounds and desperate longing for connection.
  • The Phantom of the Opera (Gaston Leroux) – The Phantom, a disfigured musical genius, harbors an obsessive love for Christine Daaé. However, Christine loves Raoul, leaving the Phantom to suffer in his unfulfilled passion, ultimately choosing to let her go.

Tools and Resources for Healing

  • Books
    • How to Break Your Addiction to a Person by Howard Halpern
    • How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Melba Colgrove, Harold H Bloomfield, and Peter McWilliams
    • Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
    • Facing Love Addiction by Pia Melody 
    • Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to an Ex Love by Lisa Marie Bobby
    • Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go by Dr. Susan Forward
    • Choosing ME Before WE: Every Woman's Guide to Life and Love by Christine Arylo
    • It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt
    • The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD
  • Activities that may help
    • Channel your pain into your preferred art form (music, poetry, painting, etc). Traditional astrological advice for Pisces facing unreciprocated love is to channel the emotional energy into something healing and artistic. This helps Pisces process their feelings without getting lost in the dream of what could be.
    • One of the best ways for Pisces to heal from unrequited love is to establish healthy boundaries—to know when to pull back and let go, as difficult as it may be. 
    • Coming back to yourself: Meditation, shadow work + integration, retreating into nature, writing letters to themselves expressing love and forgiveness, or journaling.
    • Bathing in saltwater (symbolic of Pisces' water element) or spending time in/near a large body of water is also considered a spiritually cleansing act, helping Pisces let go of emotional attachments that no longer serve them.
    • Healing crystals like amethyst (for emotional clarity) and rose quartz (for unconditional love) can help a Pisces surrender to their higher calling.
    • Cold showers or contrast therapy: Shocking your body with cold interrupts emotional cravings and resets your nervous system.
    • If you continue to have dreams about the person (suchhhh a Piscean problem), try using lucid dreaming techniques (becoming aware in a dream and controlling it) to change the narrative of your dreams. If you’re able to recognize you’re dreaming, you can consciously redirect the dream to a more peaceful or empowering scenario.
    • If your attachment wounds or relationship patterns stem from your family lineage (e.g., ancestral patterns of abandonment, emotional neglect, or toxic relationships), working on ancestral healing can help you release these inherited cycles.
    • Explore Tantric body release techniques (not sexual—focus on heart-opening postures, hip movements, and breathwork to release emotional wounds and pain).

What is your experience? Do you have any stories, advice, resources you’d like to add?