My therapist said something that made it all click for me

I was telling her about my mum and at the end I tack on my usual "but I don't think it was all bad, maybe I'm making it out to be worse than it is."

And she remarks that it's interesting that I think that. And then she asks me to think back to any memories I have of my mum playing with me as child. I scoff at that at first but then there's an awkward silence...and I realise I literally have none.

And it all clicked. That it's not all in my head and that things shouldn't be this way. At first I chalked it all down to childhood amnesia but I realised I have absolutely no memories of her playing with me or taking an interest in my hobbies :(