My fiancé (32M) rarely sleeps with me (32F)? It’s ruining our relationship.

My fiancé 32M and I 32F have been together for 3 years and our sex life has dwindled to nothing and we don’t spend any quality time together.

For background reference, we’ve lived together for nearly 2 years. We both work full time. I am fit and active while he has a more sedentary lifestyle. He does have a chronic health condition and is on medication. Although, that doesn’t seem to affect his libido, but it does make him have low energy. He is also an avid gamer and I feel like I am losing my relationship to a game console or worse.

When we first got together the sex was great and slowly it became less and less to the point where we were only having sex once a month around the 2 year mark of our relationship. It caused so many issues in our relationship and we were constantly fighting. I was convinced he was cheating or looking at porn at that time but never found hard evidence. When I confronted him about it he would insist that he is attracted to me, he desires me, etc but would turn me down and never come onto me.

For a little while after we argued about it enough, he will sleep with me a little more, 1x a week max, but then that fades and it’s back to once a month.

It’s completely destroyed my confidence to the point where I don’t even want to have sex with him anymore. I feel completely disconnected from him emotionally and angry/sad/confused/hurt—all of the above. I don’t feel attractive to him anymore. I feel like his roommate, or worse…his mom.

I’ve tried to talk to him about this and he makes me feel bad for bringing it up and says that “he can never do anything right”. I’ve even questioned whether or not he is gay (he’s not).

I am constantly unhappy and discontent in the relationship because my physical and emotional needs are not being met. I’ve tried to communicate this in every way possible, even spending a year in counseling together, yet nothing changes.

I do think it’s important to note that I make over 2.5x the money he makes and often question if he is just using me.

Our wedding date is less than 4 months away and I don’t know what to do. I’m terrified of spending my life feeling this way and feel that I’ve tried everything to fix it.