UPDATE : My crush turned out to be a blackpiller incel

My other post was removed so here is my old post

I (22F) met a guy (23M) in a college few months ago, we go to the same class, He is cute, funny and really intelligent, We exchanged our socials and started talking almost daily, we have been pretty good friends so far. after sometime i developed a crush on him but i didn't want to make a move cuz i'm not used to it. Suddenly, i've noticed some strange things about him. He follows some facebook and instagram meme pages featuring attractive male models, i didn't give it much thoughts at first until i've noticed that he sometimes makes comments saying that only looks matter and personality means nothing, talking about "the blackpill" (which i really didn't know about until i googled it and found out that it's an incel ideology).

I was hesitant to talk about it with him at first but i just said fk it i will tell him. Long story short we've had a long discussion about the whole thing. I was shocked to discover that he is an incel with some toxic views about women, talking about genetic determinism. Ranting that there are some men who are doomed when it comes to romantic relationship and there is nothing they can do about it.

He also kept saying that i wouldn't understand and that the blackpill helped him a lot. That now his interactions with people and women in particular was better and positive. He said that when he was naive, he was always worried that women saw him as unattractive or weird but now he is not worried about those things anymore because he knows that it's all about looks anyway and not about who he was or what he says. It was never meant to be from the beginning.

I felt sorry for him ngl especially when he mentioned getting bullied and some harsh rejections he faced through his life. I told him that i thought he was cute when i saw him, he shrugged me off and said i'm only trying to cheer him up.

I asked him what he would do if a girl asked him out, he said he will think it's kind of a prank or a joke cuz it happened to him before. Then i asked him what if she truly likes you and is attracted to you. He basically said "i will probably think there might be something wrong with her and she is seeing something that isn't there. i would turn her down cuz i'm in a good place and at peace now".

I asked him why he keeps following these pages then, he said that it's just for fun or to kill any hope so he won't be crushed ever again.

I know that this guy is full of red flags and sound very miserable but i don't think he is a bad person. I just wanna know if there is any hope to pull him back from this rabbit hole ?

i couldn't believe my post would blow up like this, i've had hundreds of DMs and i couldn't respond to them all sorry. I I've read most of the comments and had great advices. Thank you all.

Here is an update:

I've had another talk with my friend about his believes and asked him if he considered himself an incel, He told me he doesn't identify as one of them and don't wanna associate himself with them. I asked him if he hates women, he said no and now he find himself more comfortable around them. He also kept insisting that the blackpill isn't misogynistic cuz it's neutral, just facts and studies, it doesn't tell you to hate women or resent them, we argued a lot on this point, i've tried to make him understand that believing in it will eventually leads to hating women. We couldn't reach an agreement.

He also stated that he disagree with some blackpill ideas, for example "very ugly women can find a man", he said that this isn't true at all, he claimed very ugly people would most likely end up alone and could never find anyone genuinely attracted to them cuz even ugly people like only attractive people.

I brought up one of his comments on facebook about the whole personality doesn't matter thing. He said it's true, that personality only matters if the looks bar is cleared, and if an unattractive man is kind you would never find out cuz he doesn't even have the chance to show his personality to begin with. I argued that attraction is complex, nuanced and can be built through getting to know someone and i've experienced that myself. He said this can happen but people nowadays rely on instant attraction and don't wanna get to know someone who isn't attractive to them, he also sarcastically said "i've never heard a woman say he looks so loyal and humble, i should totally bang him" which made me really mad, i called him out for it and i said that he doesn't seem to be fond of women as he likes to claim but he said it was just a joke.

He also said that he met many people who are single cuz of their looks but never met someone attractive who is single because of their personality. I told him i've met many people like that and him is a good example, he just brushed me off again, i wanted to tell him i've had a crush on him but i didn't cuz i don't want him to accuse me of lying.

I suggested therapy but he said that he tried it once and it didn't work, and the therapist was dismissive of his feeling and made him feel like everything was on his head.

I'm not gonna lie i really felt emotionally drained and my head hurting after having this conversation with him, i still don't think he is a really bad person but he doesn't seem to respect women or trust them at all. I've told him that i want to put a bit of a distance between cuz his views makes me really uncomfortable, he said he respects my decision.

We've met yesterday in class, he said hi and we've talked for like a minute then he went on his way and that was it. We haven't talked since.