It's not you. It's the weed. Trust me bro.

Honestly, I can't keep going like this. Just writing my thoughts down because it's been about 6 months of feeling like shit and getting no where in my life.

Cannabis is a thief of my time, ambition, and will. I am sure it is for you too.

It's not you. It's the weed. Trust me bro.

• You're not depressed, you're just horribly sleep deprived since you haven't had any REM sleep in the last 4 months.
• You're not lazy, your brain's baseline dopamine system is fucked from excess stimulation.
• You're not sad, you're just having trouble identifying to your own emotions after blunting them with cannabis.
• You're not lonely, you're just using cannabis to fill a gap of loneliness in your life, there's plenty of people who love and support you unconditionally already.
• You're not apathetic or avoidant, you're just using weed to make your life less boring.

In 6 months of time I could have done so much. I want to do the below:

• Do the small things right daily. Shower, shave, brush, exercise, diet.
• Work on losing weight. Go to the gym 3x a week.
• Start enjoying my hobbies again, producing music, reading, photography.

I hate being a slave to this substance. It has nothing to offer me.

A question for you folks - how do you get out of the cycles of being sober for a few months and then using again for months? I am in Australia, does anyone have suggestions for programs or support services ? Cheers.

I am quitting (again, for the millionth fucking time), tonight. Please wish me the strength to succeed.