Im new to this reddit thing, hardly use it

Im 14 and self harm? I use a pencil, I start with burning the top layer of skin off than I go deeper with the tip of the pencil, I'm not sure how bad it's getting, I have no room left on my arm, im concerned for myself. All my pencil's erasers are covered in burnt skin and are rounded, I am scared of using a blade, I want to know if antidepressants will help at all, I was to scared to tell my doctor last time. I think it's actually bad now.