didn’t realize how good i had it :(

this is gonna be a long random rant bc i have nobody to talk to ab this stuff 🙃 i used to be a dancer in florida a few years ago & i danced at a handful of clubs in my city, found my favorite club there & would be there regularly + travel to other cities in florida somewhat often but i had to quit because of severe mental health issues that led me to substance abuse. i did not save a single penny from that time & i literally regret it every day. i was making GOOD money at my main club but i was being a fucking idiot with it. i knew i couldnt get better while staying in that environment so i stopped & got my life back in order (kind of,) moved far far away from there & thought i would never dance again. well fast forward to this past year, i had been toying with the idea of going back to dancing #1 because money, of course, & #2 because after that time away from the club i saw the many mistakes i was making my first time around & how i could learn from them. so i decided to start searching for clubs in my new city & hooooly fuck i did not realize how good i had it in florida. i did so much research on clubs in this area & even surrounding states that arent too far of a drive & my options are extremely limited. im in chicago & house fees are INSANE here, a lot require some sort of schedule & everywhere i look says they are super over saturated with girls. i also wanted a day shift club but those are even more few & far between. but whatever i didnt let that discourage me & decided to try out a couple places. first place, absolutely disgusting looking, dingy & dirty & required a 4 day a week schedule. absolutely not thats what killed my mental health in the first place. plus there was literally only 1 custy there that night… drove to another place to try & audition but out of the, what, 8ish clubs here, 3 of them are literally right next door to each other & that just seems dumb as hell to work at an over saturated club thats in between 2 other over saturated clubs. so then i try another club far outside the city & it was pretty good, nothing crazy $$ wise but i was satisfied with what i walked out with that night. i thought i found my new club until they told me i need to schedule myself in advance & if i dont i cant come in unless its a weekend night + i pay extra house fees. how the fuck am i supposed to know what day i’m going to feel mentally up to getting on stage & showing my booty n coochie holes like i literally will not know until i wake up that day. i’m just annoyed because i really thought it would be better up here since i’m in a major city, or at least i’d have more options around but nooo quite literally the opposite. less clubs & worse clubs. & where else am i even supposed to go, mf cornfield indiana??? wisconsin??? ugh. i’m overall glad i moved here but man i sure do miss my club in fl. so yea if you made it this far, thank you for coming to my ted talk. & fuck the midwest lmao