I dont like myself

Im male and 15 and i feel alone and empty

Ive spent years making peaple happy being what peaple want me to be ive lost myself i don't know who i am anymore or who i want to be

I also feel alone i liked this girl and i mean really like she was the first person to like me for me no changes it ment a lot she treated me like a human not a object

I fuckin blew it with her i dont know what i did and now whenever i see her i feel overwhelming guilt and sadness and the feeling of regret with rhe feeling that i missed a chance

Its bin months since then ( early September) and i still feel this i think of her constantly and ive only bin loosing myself more I also have bin putting myself in bad settings i know i have yet everytime i try healing i cant ive bin chasing girls for a month i think ive bin trying to distracted myself ( i dont actually no why ive bin doing this)

And ive bin told over and over to just move on but i cant i dont know how.