Advice...questions?
Hey guys! I've come with...lots of questions.
First off, hey. New here. My name is Esme, but we'll get to that later.
I believe I'm trans. Female to male...it's taken me so long to find out. I've always thought, 'man, I wish I was a boy' because I thought it would be 'convenient'- though now just realizing it would make my life easier because I would fee more comfortable–so yes, convenient in a way.
But I have so many questions. I hope I can get some answers. Some are silly questions, some are serious.
I identify as a man but also like they/them Pronouns too. Is that alright? I'm sure it is, but you never know, right?
Top surgery looks so painful. I want to get it much later in life, when I move and get an apartment with my partner so it'll be easier, but it still looks painful. I have tattoos and piercings, so I have a decent pain tolerance. But is it REALLY painful? What should I expect after surgery? (It looks intimidating too, but I want my titties GONE bro)
Names. As I said, my name is Esme (believe it or not it is gender neutral), but people tend to assume female off the bat because of it. Lately I've been going by May, which is cute...but can still be seen as feminine. Should I go through a name change? I'm not exactly comfortable with the name Esme, but it holds sentimental value. I have been thinking about a name change for months. Help??
Testosterone– I know how it works, SORT OF. Do I need a therapist approval? I have a therapist in mind who specifically deals with LGBTQ+ kiddos (and all sorts of stuff), and then would I have to talk to my doctor about it? I want low doses. Do I HAVE to do it via needle? Dumb question ik but I hate needles. If I do get needles I'm assuming I get it in the thigh? Do I have to do it myself?
Coming out. My work knows somewhat? They have pronoun pins and right now I have they/them, but now I gotta add he/him (or just have he/him at work as to not confuse lol). And I can change my name tags name, but I'm assuming I have to alert the higher ups? Honestly this is more of a personal one and not one I'm quite looking for an ANSWER to, but advice. My work is great with genders and being super LGBTQ+ stuffs, but the anxiety of it drives me crazy.
Honestly, really, anything helps. I've done binders before, but I need a new one sadly :,) and I've got a pair of boxers, hoping to get more with that. Got a nice book about a trans boy too (it's called 'Act Cool' by Tobly McSmith). I'm going through the motions, but I guess I still need reassurance.
Thanks guys and gals! :)