Uugggh I WANNA CUT MY DICK OFF AGAIN.

I haven’t had the urge in a few years (the last time I did, I was in a horrifically bad mental state), BUT IT CAME BACK :( it’s not gender related or transgender related at all, it’s… uh… I’m not sure tbh. It’s very sexual, I know that, but there’s something else that I cannot put my finger on. Perhaps it’s just my self harming habits coming back to haunt me. What do I do? :(