there's a difference between being genuinely ugly and just having body dysmorphia

for example: me and my friend.

my friend: is genuinely beautiful and cute but is insecure about her looks and unaware of her attractiveness. she always complains to me about how ugly she is, yet i always disagree with her. everyone always compliments her, everyone even keeps touching her cheeks because of how adorable she is. has multiple boys crushing on her. she's always treated grandly. if you made us stand side by side you would see the clear difference on who's the gorilla looking girl.

meanwhile me: is genuinely ugly and aware of it. everyone in my life has called me ugly. is ugly even with makeup, looks like a guy with it. never complains about my looks because im already aware of how ugly i am. everyone always avoids me and doesn't make eye contact with me because of how repulsive i am to people. everyone is deeply disgusted by my existence, especially in school. has been bullied multiple times. boys find me disgusting to look at and always critizes me. random people would laugh at me in the street especially if they see me. if you compared my friend to me you would easily see who's the ugliest person ever.

im just really mad right now because my friend keeps complaining to me about how ugly she looks when everyone around her tells her the opposite. it's such a huge slap to mt face and im starting to think that she's insulting me. i dont even know why she wants to be friends with an ugly like me.