Wow you kinda in hindsight realise how desensitised you were

Like when I would just kind of abruptly blurt out "oh we're going to my grandmas house which smells like dogpiss & people get shot near there & there's home invasions" & smile & still expect the person to want to come to my grandmas house with me like.... uhhh. Oops. I thought that was normal I just thought everyone had a home like that. I thought the way we lived was normal tbh. Had never really crossed my mind until like... 18. When I kind of snapped out of the disassociated fugue state I must have been in to survive.